Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Say It Ain't So Derek (PART I)

The past few days rumors have been swirling that Derek Jeter might be engaged to his girl of the moment, the gorgeous actress Minka Kelly. Although I am an unabashed fan of Ms. Kelly’s show Friday Night Lights (an by unabashed I mean that you would be hard pressed to find a human being I love more than that show- sorry mama), I cannot help but shed a tear over the possible end to one of the greatest “bachelor-hoods” of all time. As a ballplayer, Jeter is more than likely a surefire first ballot hall of famer, but his scorecard with the ladies might be unmatched.

Minka Kelly is uber uber hot don’t get me wrong, but this sobering engagement news also got me to thinking… did DJ get top dollar for his stock? Might he have cashed out with a woman that was not even the best he has seen so far?

With that question posed, I present to you the list of Derek Jeter’s top 10 girlfriends:

10) Mariah Carey
Highlights: Worldwide pop sensation. First artist to have her first five singles top the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.
Lowlights: The movie Glitter and a slew of weird disturbing public mental breakdowns due to “exhaustion”. I’m not saying drugs…but I’m thinking it REALLY hard.

Verdict: The whacky public displays remind me too much of a Red Sox fan, as does the crappy movie. And yes I mean Fever Pitch

9) Jordana Brewster
Highlights: The Fast and the Furious
Lowlights: Married a dude who was a producer on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Verdict: So let me get this straight. She was going out with the shortstop for the New York Yankees and ended up with a behind the scenes guy from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel that did like 8 bucks at the box office? Ouch

8) Lara Dutta
Highlights: Miss Universe in 2000
Lowlights: Has not been able to parlay that into any decent films outside of India

Verdict: Tough to knock a woman who was basically named hottest woman in the universe, but that was in 2000 and this is a “what have you done for me lately” world. The fact that a Miss Universe cannot crack the top 7 shows you the strength of this list people

7) Gabrielle Union
Highlights: Kicking Kirsten Dunst’s scrawny butt in Bring it On
Lowlights: For some reason or another did an Eddie Murphy movie not called Beverly Hills Cop or Trading Places

Verdict: Seriously how does Eddie Murphy still get work?

6) Vanessa Minillio
Highlights: 1998 Miss Teen USA
Lowlights: Was in a Nick Lachey music video

Verdict: Extremely hot but this is a tough list to crack the top five on

No comments:

Post a Comment