Friday, January 23, 2009

Questions from the Mailbag

To say that I have “fans” would be a total misuse of the term. That would be akin to saying that people throwing peanuts at a chimp at the zoo are “fans” of the chimp. That being said some of my "fans" have been emailing me questions over the past couple of days so I feel like I should get to answering them:

Question: Is Hilary Swank hot?

New York, NY

: I’m a huge fan of The Office and I did happen to catch the episode the other night (Anyone surprised? Guy with a blog and no girlfriend home on a Thursday night watching tv). I’m actually very glad this came up and that people are discussing this around the country today. For year’s now I’ve been having this argument with people and there is a very definitive answer here. Hilary Swank is not hot. Typically, if someone tries to argue that an actress is not hot they are crazy. The point being that people on television and movies get those parts largely because: they are better looking than regular people. There are a few notable exceptions with Julia Stiles and Julia Roberts being the first two names that pop into my head. You might therefore be saying to yourself “Hilary Swank is in movies….and she isn’t Julia Stiles or Julia Roberts. So isn’t she hot?” By that definition the answer usually would be ‘yes’. However, in this special case there is damning evidence that trumps any argument to Hilary Swank’s hotness. In Boys Don't Cry she played a man. Not only that, but she played a dude so well… to such critical acclaim… that she was given an Academy Award. Couple of other people who won Academy Awards for playing dudes…Marlon Brando, Jack Nicholson, Sean Penn, Al Pacino, etc. If Hilary Swank looked like Charlize Theron MAYBE she could play a man and still be considered hot. But she doesn’t and she isn’t. Case closed.

Q: Are you serious with this blog thing?

Nashville, Tennessee

DG: Excellent question Carter. Serious is a tough word for me. Not sure I’ve ever really been. It’s probably a question of maturity. Although I’m 25 years old, in many cases I have the maturity of preschooler. For instance, if I were to tell you less than half of my weekly DVR recordings are cartoons I would actually have to count to make sure that were true. However, there are days when I wake up and I feel like I might be maturing. When this happens I have a little litmus test that I give myself to make sure. I try to use the word “macho” in a sentence during a normal conversation. It sounds stupid but, seriously, if you can slip a “macho” into a conversation with a straight face you must be a full fledged adult. Never works for me. I laugh out loud every time. It might be impossible or it might be that I am pushing the envelope too far by using it like: “Watched Top Gun again last night….movie never gets old. That Tom Cruise is just so damn macho!” Who knows.

Q: I cannot stand watching NFL playoffs without the Jets or Giants still alive. Give me some something to look forward to. What are they going to do in the draft?

Charlottesville, VA

DG: I’m actually going to address this topic in a First Round Mock Draft in the near future. I haven’t yet decided if I’m going to do it very soon or wait for the NFL Combine. What I might actually do is one before the combine and then do a revised one closer to the actual draft. We’ll see. To answer the specific question I have some educated guesses as to what the Jets and Giants will do. The two teams are picking 17th and 29th respectively in the first round so whom they pick will be contingent on what players are still on the board when their picks come up (also either team could trade up or down from where they are slotted to pick). For the Jets, I believe they are going to try to target a defensive back. They just hired Rex Ryan, a defensive guru, who almost certainly use this pick on a defensive player. I don’t think they will be drafting a quarterback because Matt Stafford from Georgia and USC’s Mark Sanchez will be long gone by pick 17 and no other quarterback in the draft will warrant a first round selection. Moreover, the Jets carried four quarterback on their roster last year: Brett “Look at me” Favre, Kellen Clemens (a former second round pick), Bret Ratliff, and Erik Ainge. The only reason to take a signal caller would be to draft a first round franchise guy, which won’t be available to them here. I think the Jets would be smart to take a guy like Vontae Davis, out of Illinois. He is pretty tall for a corner, at 6 feet, and a terrific athlete who will probably run somewhere in the 4.35 – 4.4 range in the forty. He’s a little raw but has a chance to develop into a complete corner. That would be a pretty lethal combination with Darrell Revis, who appears to be turning into one of the better defensive backs in the league, on the other side. An outside linebacker/defensive end hybrid to rush the passer out of the Jets 3-4 base could also be a consideration given how disappointing 2008 first round pick Vernon Gholston turned out to be. I think Everette Brown out of Florida State would be a nice value if the Jets were to go that way. As far as the Giants, a lot of their draft strategy hinges on the whether or not ole’ Plax goes to the big house or not. If he does they will need a big red zone target to replace him. They would love to get Michael Crabtree, but he’ll be gone within the first 5 picks (most likely to Seattle at pick 4). A creative option might be to choose a tall athletic tight end to replace Burress. I like Jared Cook the 6’5” 240 pound WR/TE hybrid out South Carolina, however I think he will be available in the second or third round and would be a reach at pick 29 of the first round. I think a far more glaring need for the G-Men is at middle linebacker. Where Plaxico Burress is shooting himself out of the league Antonio Pierce is EATING himself out of the league. Listed at 238 pounds, but probably more in the 260-270 range, Pierce looked heavy and out of shape all season. When he wasn’t hiding ballistic evidence for his boy Plax, Pierce spent the majority of 2008 out of breath running 10 yards behind the other teams running backs and tight ends in coverage. The Giants will almost certainly have to draft his replacement. Assuming Rey Maualuga and Wake’s Aaron Curry are gone by this point in the first round, I think three players the Giants will target are USC’s Brian Cushing,Virginia’s Clint Sintim, or Ohio State’s James Lauranitis. Personally, I would like to see either Cushing or Sintim because they both have the versatility to slide over and also play outside linebacker and situational rush end. Lauranitis would strictly be a middle backer lacking the size to play outside and rush the passer.

Q: You’re an idiot.

-My brother

DG: Duly noted and seconded.

Please keep sending your questions along people.

1 comment:

  1. I agree the G-Men need to be much more athletic at the LB spot.