Thursday, January 22, 2009

Say It Ain't So Derek (PART II)

5) Minka Kelly
Highlights: The beautiful but inwardly tormented Lyla Garrity on Friday Night Lights, the best show on tv
Lowlights: Really no other work to speak of

Verdict: Tough to believe she doesn’t get better acting gigs. I have to believe after her FNL run this extra Jeter publicity will help her get big time movie gigs. That or she’ll just live off his $18.5MM a year contract.

4) Jessica Biel
Highlights: Out of this world body and maybe The Illusionist
Lowlights: Stealth and Summer Catch

Verdict: She might actually be a little TOO ripped. Girls with major abs intimidate me

3) Jessica Alba
Highlights: The scene in the leather getup in Sin City
Lowlights: A veritable Who’s Who’s list of dry heave inducing flicks. Take your pick: The Love Guru, The Eye, Honey, Into the Blue . Then married a guy named Cash…..CASH. Yeah

Verdict: Basically her ridiculous hotness largely makes up for making awful movies.

2) Scarlett Johansson
Highlights: You’ve seen her defy gravity in low cut dresses at the Oscars haven’t you? If not do yourself a favor
Lowlights: Is so against eating disorders she threatens to eat her way out of Hollywood to prove a point

Verdict: This blond bombshell has got legit acting chops, and may one day win an Academy Award. Probably the only girl on here you can say that for. Usually, I would put her number 1 on any list but unfortunately she is up against a freak of nature in this case

1) Adrianna Lima
Highlights: Is Adrianna Lima.
Lowlights: Where could I even begin?

Verdict: Need I say more?

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