Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mailbag #4

Q: How come you haven't written anything about Chris Brown and Rihanna?

-Staten Island, NY

DG: I thought about putting my take in the Grammy Review, but pulled it last minute. There were two reasons: 1) I thought it might be a little heavy in terms of subject matter 2) Perez pulled a real diva move on me and didn't call back with all the relevant details. Therefore, I couldn't run it come press time (press time = 10 AM when I'm on the couch with bed-head eating fruit loops).

But since you asked, I do have a few thoughts. Assuming all I'm reading in the papers is true, this is pretty messy stuff. For a man to strike a woman is absolutely despicable. No question. Nothing she could have done would justify his behavior. Not even if she sucker punched him, with a closed fist, from point blank in a confined space (think back of a taxi cab)…..on his birthday. You just hope she’s ok.

Having said that, people’s next thoughts are: how does this affect their careers? I would think that Rihanna’s career should not be affected negatively by this incident at all. If anything, having been through this type of adversity might make her more popular with the public. Think Tina Turner.

As far as his career….you’re going to have flush that sucker twice to get the stink out. This guy might as well be radioactive now. What’s worse career suicide than beating up your famous singer gf? There are so many others things you can do to screw up that the public will eventually forgive you for. How many stars have had a drug problem, DUI, backed into paparazzi with their cars, or done other bizarre things, and later been pardoned in the court of public opinion? Robert Downey Jr. once got so drugged up he took a cab to the wrong house and fell asleep naked in it. Right now he’s everyone’s darling. For god’s sake R.Kelly has been caught taping himself urinating….. URINATING on girls like a million times and people still really dig him for some reason (seriously take a moment and let that wash over you….gross… sorry bad pun).

Picture this….lets say your Chris Brown, and you’re standing in a room with half a dozen or so doors. Behind each door is a personal mishap that will negatively affect your career. Maybe behind Door #1 is a DUI, Door #2 is walking off the stage at SNL like Ashlee Simpson, Door #3 is…I dunno….a sextape, and so on down the line. Do you know where the door for “beating your superstar singer gf in a rented Lamborghini after a Clive Davis Grammy party” is located? Underneath you…because it’s a trapdoor.

Goodbye Chris Brown. Enjoy county lock-up.

Q: This year is the best season of Friday Night Lights ever!

-New York

I’ve got to say I’m pretty partial to the first season, but last Friday’s episode was probably the best individual episode I’ve seen on network TV all year. My favorite episode of all-time, however, is still the end of the first season. This is the one where Coach Taylor pulls a Tom Osborne and goes for two to win the State Championship….with the TMU QB coach job speculation in the air…..and because the show is not your run of the mill “cookie-cutter show” you honesty have no idea if they are going to make it or not.

Also, does anyone else want Coach Taylor to be their coach? How good are some of his speeches? I would run through a wall for that guy.

Q: With spring training right around the corner, who does DG like as early division winners this season?

-Tempe, AZ

DG: At some point I really want to give this a full write up. For now I think if I go too far into it I’m going to loose my entire female audience to Perez Hilton. Without picking wildcard teams, here’s a quick prediction for now:

NL EAST: NY METS - sorry Philly fans but don’t expect 16 wins from Jamie Moyer. I think this is the year he finally gets old.

NL CENTRAL: CUBS – overall pitching is too good not to win 90 games, however I think 85 would win this division.

NL WEST: DODGERS – I make this pick assuming they get Manny signed up. I figure he’ll pull a Michael Strahan and come back right after spring training is over.

AL WEST: OAKLAND – I might have a bigger man crush on Billy Beane then the Bob’s in Office Space have on Michael Bolton. What he does year in and year out with a miniscule payroll is amazing. If you have not read Moneyball do yourself a favor and pick it up. Team with the most wins since 2000: the Yanks…team with the second most wins: Oakland.

AL CENTRAL: DETROIT: Last year, only one team consistently scored more runs than the Tigers: whatever team was in the opposing dugout. This year, I think they get enough pitching help to win this division. By the way, baseball reference lists Miguel Cabrera at 185 pounds. Does anyone think they might be undercutting that by at least 80
pounds? If you throw the sport out the window and allow me to pick my “All-Fat” team I put C.C. Sabathia and LenDale White on it straight away….and I think Cabrera is my third pick..... followed by Eddy Curry and Sebastian Janikowski.

AL EAST: YANKEES: $200 million dollar payroll and a new multi-billion dollar stadium have got to buy you something right? If all else fails they can just buy the entire Rays roster at the trade deadline.

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